Life lessons

I’m not a trusting person, I may have been as a child I think, gregarious, outgoing. It took a lot of years to slowly form my opinions on who could and couldn’t be trusted. My mother never had that filter it seems. We were her filters for years as children and later as teenagers. In 1970 she packed my brother, sister and I into the back of the baby-puke yellow Volvo station wagon and took us on an adventure. We took the ferry to Vancouver Island and then to Washington, she was ever looking over her shoulder, paranoid, someone was following us, coming after us, we eventually landed in a back country town in Idaho, they had goats, they were nice people but we never quite got what was going on. Mom stopped taking her meds and seems she thought some bad crap was going down, when in reality, it was all in her head, turns out she was molested as a child and was somehow reliving it through her kids, it was a bad time and it started our roller coaster ride though life with her. My poor Dad, she turned his world upside down, I’m glad he moved on and found happiness later with a wonderful woman. He never got to know his kids, sadly, that was stolen from both of us, it was her world, and as kids, we just thought it was normal to follow. I don’t follow much of anyone anymore…ever:)

Family thinks I should write a book, sailing around the world for the years and years we did, adventures, misadventures, we sometimes reminisce we are lucky to be alive. The amazing locations we were raised in, the lack of formal education, not thinking that was a bad thing but it still remains such a huge undertaking…all those emotions to deal with, not sure I want to open that can of worms, ever, but every now and then, I think about it.

Looking back at the fire at our ranch in Baja and the moron man baby that started it has had me musing on the why’s and the current political situation in the US. Also the many morons we encountered as kids on boats, sailing, trying to sail, or getting pulled off of reefs because they were just plain stupid, inexperienced or all of the above. Humans…I have a hard time containing my disdain for them at times. Sheeple, going about in their herd like world. They terrify me, no really, they do. I don’t do crowds.

I’m not very PC. I don’t mean to offend but humans really can be stupid, morons at the best of times many of them, not all, but many.

Insurance claim came in for the ranch, will cover a very small portion of the fire damage, but there are those deductibles, you know insurance companies…not covered, flights down there and back, gas, food, labour, mine and our wonderful friends…and no word from man-baby moron that started the fire and ran away, all of this, hiding behind the skirts of a lawyer that asked I return his computer, they would be happy to pay the postage, just not all the damages he caused? Computer is long gone, shouldn’t have left the house open for three days should you have? another case of more stupidity, will it ever end? I think not. If I could bring myself to watch the news, tweets and what ever I only seem to see more man-babies and their female equals…is this really the face of America? Could this become the face of Canada? Such a sad sad place, are they really all now happy with their reality TV president, it seems so. I guess I was not really wrong, for the masses, glued to their glass teats.

I’m glad I have friends, that every day remind me, we are not all alike, television zombies. Many I think, can feel, are capable of compassion for their fellow human beings and would do the right thing regardless with no strings attached.. My friends I’d like to think care not about colour, race, creed or religion but I’m sure I’m wrong, in there, are the climate change deniers, the homophobes, the racists….it saddens me. To live on a planet with so much hate, when there is so much beauty there….

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8 thoughts on “Life lessons

  1. Oh, Pamela! I am so sorry to hear about the tragedy at your ranch. Did you know the person who started the fire? Is he in jail?

    From reading what you’ve written about your past, I never imagined that your exciting childhood adventure had a dark side. I’m sorry you had to go through that. As far as writing a book about it, I would not dare to think that I am qualified to offer you advice. However I will say this: Writing is meant to be cathartic. It should bring you joy and a sense of peace either to you or to someone you could help who may have gone through something similar or is struggling through their own nightmare. If all it brings you is painful memories and angst, then perhaps you should leave it in a dark corner of your mind until you are ready to release it.

    I also want to assure you that not all of those in the U.S. are following the buffoon in our Oval Office into the sea of disaster like lemmings. None of my family, friends or acquaintances, with the exception of just a few (which makes me question their sanity) voted for him or support him. Daily we are horrified and embarrassed by the things he says and fear for our country, our naturals resources and the world by the things he threatens to do. All the progress we have made toward equal rights, protecting those who cannot protect themselves, teaching our children to treat all with love and respect and to be good stewards of our planet are threatened by this moron. We call it the dumbing of America and feel it is one of the darkest periods of this country’s history.


    • I do know Lyndie, there are so many good Americans that are apalled and horrified by the current preidency and events that unfold each day. I have American family and know their views, it is just terrifiying to think of the 63 million people who did vote this creature in, and the 53% of voters that felt so apathetic they could not be bothered to vote. I think it is that apathy that truly frightens me, it means they are not willing to lift a finger for change, even when a monster is at large. It is indeed a dark time for American history, hoping lessons will be learned and people can reach out to one another for support, there seems to be so much hate, so much me me me….:( Fingers crossed:) Will try to concentrate on positive human experience for the next little bit!


      • It is shameful to have seen such apathy. I’m keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that these first six month have awakened the sleeping giant and people will start to care again and realize that they can and must do something. The key is to finding a good candidate….Go out and photograph the beauty around you. That should life your spirits!


  2. Your pain makes my heart hurt, it is a cruel and crazy world we live in. We all are a product of our childhood experiences. I think those of us who suffered hardships as children are truly stronger because of it. You are a unique and caring lady, be proud of who you are . . .the rest . . . it is up to them to become better people. Live your life to the best of your/my ability is all we can do. Reach out to those who willing accept our help. I am honoured to know you xo


  3. I always thought your childhood was so exciting and exotic. It was, but with strings attached. You and your siblings were the child/grown-ups. Your mother perceived what she wanted. You were enriched and educated by your moms dreams/paranoid life. You are an awesome person. You see so much beauty in nature. They are your connection to the matrics.
    You are sharing that connection though your art. Nick and I are the same, we don’t follow anyone. We don’t fit. We live, be as happy as we can be and there are the rare people that we connect with. We love you both. Thanks for being you.


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